Blackbeard, that's the first name that comes to my head when I think of him. The old bloke who keeps some sun beds and umbrellas on Stegna beach is the one I have in mind.
Now, before I continue with this tale, I want to make something very clear. I would never tar all Greeks with the same brush. On the positive side, I'll cite some examples of the good guys. There's Stefanos who runs the Tramonto Bar for starters. He's totally genuine and very generous to us whenever we take friends there to show them what a stunning view the bar has over the entire resort of Stegna. There's George who runs The Pelican's Nest on Kiotari Beach and the other George who runs Pefkos Mare car hire. The two Georges and their family who run the Gré Café in Kiotari are very special and I'd also have to include the honey-men who so often make us gifts of jars of their delicious thyme and pine honey whenever they drive their truck past our garden and they see us over the wall. They get nothing back from us, they simply show appreciation for the fact that their bees make extensive use of the blossoms in our garden during their honey-making activities. Babis, Dimitri and the gang at the Odyssey Taverna go above and beyond the call of duty in showing their appreciation for the fact that we suggest that our guests eat there while on the Rhodes Town excursion each week. We ask nothing of them, yet they always find ways to show their appreciation. I couldn't leave out Spiro and Maria, who run the Top 3 Pub in Rhodes town. When Spiros learned that the couple sitting with us a week or two ago were my sister and brother-in-law, he whisked away their till receipt and resolutely refused to let them pay for their drinks. I could go on…
But, sadly, there are those who fuel the flames of the reputation that some Greeks have for placing money above all else. The old saying that a Greek would sell his grandmother at the right price may be true in their case. I've been coming ashore in the middle of Stegna Beach every Wednesday for a couple of months now on my Bay-to-Bay excursion from St. Paul's Bay in Lindos. Right beside the boardwalk that runs up the beach to the taverna where my guests take their lunch is a clutch of umbrellas and beds looked after by Blackbeard. In all honesty, I haven't the faintest idea what Blackbeard the pirate may have looked like, but in my fanciful imagination this guy could play him in a movie without having to act all that much. He's probably about 70 and walks with a limp. It looks like one of his legs had a run-in with a shark or something, leaving it slightly shorter than the other one and incapable of bending at the knee. I imagine the kind of explanation he'd offer were I to enquire…
"Ah, ha, ha har!! Well, it was while we were out in the East Indies, running a Corsair and flying our Jolly Roger. Had to make this crewman walk the plank for insubordination and blowed if I didn't fall in mee-self while prodding him along the plank with me cutlass. Had to be fished out of the briney, but not before a Great White had tried to use my leg for lunch!"
His chin juts out a-la Popeye and there's always a few days' growth of stubble on it, predominantly grey. He always sports a tatty old baseball cap and an inch of cigarette (could be the same inch all the time for all I know) is attached by dried up saliva to the corner of his bottom lip. He puts me in mind of a Greek version of Uncle Albert from the wonderful old UK TV series "Only Fools and Horses," although with not so full a beard. I could well imagine him also beginning any conversation you may have with him by saying, "During the war…"
The thing is, every time I've walked up that beach for several weeks Blackbeard/Uncle Albert has accosted me to make sure I told my guests that they could have the use of two beds and an umbrella whilst we're ashore for the princely sum of 5€. Now, we come ashore every week at around 12 noon and always assemble on the small landing stage that juts out from the beach just near his patch at 2.00pm for our transfer back to the boat by launch, which usually entails four or five trips for Kosta and Jimmy, the crew. Thus, as our American chums would say, if you "do the math" no-one would be using a set of his beds and the accompanying umbrella for more than 90 minutes or so, since when we first come ashore we all troop into the taverna for lunch.
This past Wednesday I was feeling dead proud of myself for having remembered to tell my guests before we went ashore about Blackbeard's "generous" offer. "Tell him you're with John onboard the 'Lindos,'" I cried to all and sundry aboard and continued, "he'll let you have a couple of beds and an umbrella for five Euros." I have to say that I recommended this course of action to any who may have wished to spend a while on the beach after their lunch, because it's blisteringly hot on that beach at this time of year and there's no other shade to be had.
Imagine my surprise, nay chagrin, when two guests, who'd spotted a pair of beds and decided to chuck their bags and towels on them for the duration of our stay, before coming into the taverna for lunch, approached me and told me that he'd charged them SIX Euros.
"Did you tell him you were with me?" I asked, to which they replied that they had.
"Right." I said, "leave it to me." After I'd eaten I strolled over the road and down the few steps onto the beach beside the small canopy under which he sits and reads his Rodiaki newspaper and addressed him.
"Two of my guests just told me you charged them six. How come? You've always told me you'd charge five, since they're only here for a short while." The fact was, while I had been eating I'd been told that there were others who'd had the same experience too.
"Ah, well, it's busier now. Peak season. The price has to be more now 'cos I'm busier," was his reply. Not great logic to me anyway. I pressed my case.
"What's that got to do with anything? You always told me five, now, when I get some guests to come to you you charge them six. It doesn't matter how busy you are, you made a promise!"
At this juncture he waved his copy of the local Rhodean newspaper at me and said, "Haven't you read this? In Lindos people are paying NINE Euros for two beds. It's the way things are. Take it or leave it."
"Yea, but those people are paying nine for a whole day. they'll be on those beds for seven hours or so. My guests are only here until two [it was now well past one anyway] and you know full well that the moment we leave you'll be charging for those self-same beds again, at full price no doubt. Plus, where I live in Kiotari, you can rent two beds and an umbrella for the whole day for SIX Euros."
"Look I only offered your guests that deal because I usually had a couple of spare umbrellas. Now it's busier, I've got to change the setup."
By this time I was well riled and could have lost it, but I knew that there would have been no point. So I simply adopted my best "hard man" expression (lips dead straight and as thin as I could make them) and replied, as menacingly as I could, "OK, OK," and walked off, trying with my body language to convey to him that he'd be getting no more business from my guests if I have anything to do with it. I know it's only one Euro we're talking about here, but there's a principle at stake. He'd been badgering me for weeks and then, when I get him some trade, he does this. Makes me look a prize dipstick into the bargain. Tell you one thing, as sure as there's a cloudless sky above me, in a few weeks time he'll be badgering me again as the season passes its peak and his bed occupancy level begins to drop. He won't "get much change" out of me then, that's for sure.
I now felt fully justified in calling him Blackbeard. He's a pirate if ever I met one. I have another similar tale about someone somewhere very close to where I live. I'd kind of resolved not to relate it, but now I've changed my mind. As I said above, there are more than enough genuine folk out here to discourage one from tarring all the locals with the same brush. But a few of them give the many a bad name and that's a shame. So watch this space for more tales of scullduggery.
Now then Jim lad, splice the main brace and shiver me yard arm, we'll set sail for home and take a tot of rum along the way…
Do you think I may just have got slightly too far into the spirit of this "pirate" thing?
 |
| Stegna Beach, scene of the crime |
 |
| ditto |
Now, before I continue with this tale, I want to make something very clear. I would never tar all Greeks with the same brush. On the positive side, I'll cite some examples of the good guys. There's Stefanos who runs the Tramonto Bar for starters. He's totally genuine and very generous to us whenever we take friends there to show them what a stunning view the bar has over the entire resort of Stegna. There's George who runs The Pelican's Nest on Kiotari Beach and the other George who runs Pefkos Mare car hire. The two Georges and their family who run the Gré Café in Kiotari are very special and I'd also have to include the honey-men who so often make us gifts of jars of their delicious thyme and pine honey whenever they drive their truck past our garden and they see us over the wall. They get nothing back from us, they simply show appreciation for the fact that their bees make extensive use of the blossoms in our garden during their honey-making activities. Babis, Dimitri and the gang at the Odyssey Taverna go above and beyond the call of duty in showing their appreciation for the fact that we suggest that our guests eat there while on the Rhodes Town excursion each week. We ask nothing of them, yet they always find ways to show their appreciation. I couldn't leave out Spiro and Maria, who run the Top 3 Pub in Rhodes town. When Spiros learned that the couple sitting with us a week or two ago were my sister and brother-in-law, he whisked away their till receipt and resolutely refused to let them pay for their drinks. I could go on…
But, sadly, there are those who fuel the flames of the reputation that some Greeks have for placing money above all else. The old saying that a Greek would sell his grandmother at the right price may be true in their case. I've been coming ashore in the middle of Stegna Beach every Wednesday for a couple of months now on my Bay-to-Bay excursion from St. Paul's Bay in Lindos. Right beside the boardwalk that runs up the beach to the taverna where my guests take their lunch is a clutch of umbrellas and beds looked after by Blackbeard. In all honesty, I haven't the faintest idea what Blackbeard the pirate may have looked like, but in my fanciful imagination this guy could play him in a movie without having to act all that much. He's probably about 70 and walks with a limp. It looks like one of his legs had a run-in with a shark or something, leaving it slightly shorter than the other one and incapable of bending at the knee. I imagine the kind of explanation he'd offer were I to enquire…
"Ah, ha, ha har!! Well, it was while we were out in the East Indies, running a Corsair and flying our Jolly Roger. Had to make this crewman walk the plank for insubordination and blowed if I didn't fall in mee-self while prodding him along the plank with me cutlass. Had to be fished out of the briney, but not before a Great White had tried to use my leg for lunch!"
His chin juts out a-la Popeye and there's always a few days' growth of stubble on it, predominantly grey. He always sports a tatty old baseball cap and an inch of cigarette (could be the same inch all the time for all I know) is attached by dried up saliva to the corner of his bottom lip. He puts me in mind of a Greek version of Uncle Albert from the wonderful old UK TV series "Only Fools and Horses," although with not so full a beard. I could well imagine him also beginning any conversation you may have with him by saying, "During the war…"
The thing is, every time I've walked up that beach for several weeks Blackbeard/Uncle Albert has accosted me to make sure I told my guests that they could have the use of two beds and an umbrella whilst we're ashore for the princely sum of 5€. Now, we come ashore every week at around 12 noon and always assemble on the small landing stage that juts out from the beach just near his patch at 2.00pm for our transfer back to the boat by launch, which usually entails four or five trips for Kosta and Jimmy, the crew. Thus, as our American chums would say, if you "do the math" no-one would be using a set of his beds and the accompanying umbrella for more than 90 minutes or so, since when we first come ashore we all troop into the taverna for lunch.
 |
| Jimmy (Dimitri) steadies the launch as it reaches the shore |
 |
| Dad Kostas and son Jimmy (...and girls, he's single!) on their way to collect us from the beach |
This past Wednesday I was feeling dead proud of myself for having remembered to tell my guests before we went ashore about Blackbeard's "generous" offer. "Tell him you're with John onboard the 'Lindos,'" I cried to all and sundry aboard and continued, "he'll let you have a couple of beds and an umbrella for five Euros." I have to say that I recommended this course of action to any who may have wished to spend a while on the beach after their lunch, because it's blisteringly hot on that beach at this time of year and there's no other shade to be had.
Imagine my surprise, nay chagrin, when two guests, who'd spotted a pair of beds and decided to chuck their bags and towels on them for the duration of our stay, before coming into the taverna for lunch, approached me and told me that he'd charged them SIX Euros.
"Did you tell him you were with me?" I asked, to which they replied that they had.
"Right." I said, "leave it to me." After I'd eaten I strolled over the road and down the few steps onto the beach beside the small canopy under which he sits and reads his Rodiaki newspaper and addressed him.
"Two of my guests just told me you charged them six. How come? You've always told me you'd charge five, since they're only here for a short while." The fact was, while I had been eating I'd been told that there were others who'd had the same experience too.
"Ah, well, it's busier now. Peak season. The price has to be more now 'cos I'm busier," was his reply. Not great logic to me anyway. I pressed my case.
"What's that got to do with anything? You always told me five, now, when I get some guests to come to you you charge them six. It doesn't matter how busy you are, you made a promise!"
At this juncture he waved his copy of the local Rhodean newspaper at me and said, "Haven't you read this? In Lindos people are paying NINE Euros for two beds. It's the way things are. Take it or leave it."
"Yea, but those people are paying nine for a whole day. they'll be on those beds for seven hours or so. My guests are only here until two [it was now well past one anyway] and you know full well that the moment we leave you'll be charging for those self-same beds again, at full price no doubt. Plus, where I live in Kiotari, you can rent two beds and an umbrella for the whole day for SIX Euros."
"Look I only offered your guests that deal because I usually had a couple of spare umbrellas. Now it's busier, I've got to change the setup."
By this time I was well riled and could have lost it, but I knew that there would have been no point. So I simply adopted my best "hard man" expression (lips dead straight and as thin as I could make them) and replied, as menacingly as I could, "OK, OK," and walked off, trying with my body language to convey to him that he'd be getting no more business from my guests if I have anything to do with it. I know it's only one Euro we're talking about here, but there's a principle at stake. He'd been badgering me for weeks and then, when I get him some trade, he does this. Makes me look a prize dipstick into the bargain. Tell you one thing, as sure as there's a cloudless sky above me, in a few weeks time he'll be badgering me again as the season passes its peak and his bed occupancy level begins to drop. He won't "get much change" out of me then, that's for sure.
I now felt fully justified in calling him Blackbeard. He's a pirate if ever I met one. I have another similar tale about someone somewhere very close to where I live. I'd kind of resolved not to relate it, but now I've changed my mind. As I said above, there are more than enough genuine folk out here to discourage one from tarring all the locals with the same brush. But a few of them give the many a bad name and that's a shame. So watch this space for more tales of scullduggery.
Now then Jim lad, splice the main brace and shiver me yard arm, we'll set sail for home and take a tot of rum along the way…
Do you think I may just have got slightly too far into the spirit of this "pirate" thing?
Only 2 comments to make, John. First of all, would Jimmy mind that I'm not single?
ReplyDeleteAnd second,I hope you waited to take your tot of rum until after the sun was over the mainbrace!
Vicki
Firstly, does Keith see what you write!? Secondly, you ought to know me by now, don't I always say: "take yer tot after the sun drops under the mainbrace!"? One of my most-used sayings...
Deletewhoops....'yardarm' rather!
DeleteMainbrace would have done, after all, it's a sail and they're often three sheets to the wind.
DeleteI had a closer look and have decided that I only like beards worn on the lower part of the face!
ReplyDeleteVicki
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSorry Shirley. I didn't actually remove your comment. I can only assume that the blogger system didn't like the final word you used and it got filtered out automatically!!! I tend to agree though (with you that is!)
DeleteSorry John, but i thought better of it and deleted it.
ReplyDeleteNo sweat, at least that solves the mystery! I thought the system had done it some how. Plus, since I get the comments as e-mails in my "IN" box, at least I got to read it before you deleted it. Probably for the best, but good to know you felt that way about this "pirate".
DeleteHow intriguing! I was pondering whether to pay him a visit in October and offer him 3 euros for the umbrella and sun loungers, on the basis that it's the end of the season!
ReplyDeleteVicki
You can always give it a try. Tell him John sent you!!!
DeleteI will.
ReplyDeleteVicki